Exclusive: These Arms Are Snakes Outdo Pitchfork’s Top 500

We’d be hard-pressed to find a 2008 comeback album that could trump These Arms Are Snakes’ Tail Swallower and Dove (Suicide Squeeze). Granted, the band hadn’t re-formed after a breakup or anything. It’s just that, after TAAS’s maiden release, This Is Meant to Hurt You - one of the best punk-rock EPs ever made - we were a bit bored by their first two full-lengths.

But then came Tail Swallower and Dove; if there were ever an album, as opposed to a book, that warranted a film adaptation, this’d get our vote. Trimmed of most of the fat found on 2004’s Oxeneers or the Lion Sleeps When Its Antelope Go Home and 2006’s Easter - and filled instead with furious freak-outs, expert snake-charmer guitar passages and melodic-punk pyrotechnics - TAAS’s latest release is so taut it might throw Guy Picciotto into a fit.

To our delight, TAAS haven’t stopped supporting their milestone. Starting Sunday in Vancouver, they’ll be winding their way across North America, till they end up back home in Seattle on October 17. (Go to These Arms Are Snakes’ MySpace page for the full itinerary.)

But even more to our fancy, the dear chaps made use of their free time warming up for the tour by putting together something very, very cool for the IndiePit Blog.

If you’re at all familiar with the blog by now, you know we’ve been getting some really cool contributions, directly from bands, for our series “The Shoebox.” A lot of the entries have been memorable, but we’ve gotta say, while what TAAS’ Brian Cook (he too of Botch note) gave us doesn’t exactly fit into “The Shoebox,” it is the coolest thing any band has submitted so far.

Check it: He devised a 500-song rebuttal to Pitchfork’s widely slammed list “Top 500 Tracks of the 2000s.” That’s right, Cook actually went to the trouble of mapping out hundreds of songs that would make the cut on his very own, similarly titled list.

Coincidentally - and reassuringly - our list would look a lot more like his than Pitchfork’s. (And while we won’t do a song-by-song rebuttal to Cook’s rebuttal, the only thing we’ll add is that, in terms of what he says in his intro, the ’00s have reminded us more of the ’80s than the ’70s.)

Since he also provided his own introduction to the humungous list, we’ll let Cook take it from here.

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The Internet has been buzzing over the last few weeks over Pitchfork’s top 500 songs of the decade. From the indie disciples noting how many of the songs are on their iPod to the disgruntled bloggers bitching about the preposterous act of putting the cap on a decade that’s not even over to the pop-culture critics wondering how a bunch of creative-writing majors get to decide what ranks as the most relevant musical compositions of the last 10 years - everybody is talking.

But, truth be told, the list is perfect. Or at least, it perfectly encapsulates Pitchfork, and the aught years were Pitchfork’s decade. Just as the ‘90s were a throwback to the ’60s, a time of change, idealism and Democrats in the White House, the ’00s have been a throwback to the ’70s with its share of entitlement issues, cocaine, narcissism, and Republican rule. Pitchfork’s top 500, with its vast numbers of major label club hits, producer-driven dance tracks, ironic pop tunes, adult-contemporary-masquerading-as-indie tracks and cred-seeking obscurities pretty much sums up the banal and dismal 10 years of online social networking, nostalgic navel-gazing, and Oroboros-esque culture-referencing that Pitchfork aimed to dominate.

And yes, I’m bitter that NOT ONE These Arms Are Snakes song, nor any of our affiliated bands’ songs, made it on the list. Just as Bush was NOT MY PRESIDENT (well, OK, technically he was), Pitchfork is NOT MY GENERATION (well, it actually, to some extent, is). So what better way to wash the Aught Years out of my mouth than by reminding myself that there was some pretty killer shit out there over these last 10 years. I made my own damn list. In the interest of being civil, I even put an asterisk next to the songs I agreed with P4K on.

But ultimately, my list isn’t about trying to define a decade for my peers, it’s merely my opinion. There’s no doubt that this list fails to serve as median measure of white twenty-somethings’ collective tastes. There is no Arcade Fire on this list. There is no Feist. There is no LCD Soundsystem. Sorry, not my thing. And likewise, I doubt most people would consider George Rrurrambu, Halo or thepowersofdarkness… to be the most profound or popular underground acts of the decade.

Nope, this is my list, subject to my own tastes, and obviously biased towards my friends’ bands and labels. I’ve tried to keep the irony to a minimum, but Shat and Daryl Worley received too much play on my iTunes to leave them off. Likewise, I’ve kept the guilty pleasures to a minimum, though I contend that liking Kelly Clarkson’s Breakaway album or any of the last three Blink-182 records is nothing to be ashamed of. So without further ado, the list …

500. Mono - “Halcyon (Beautiful Days)”
499. Expo ’70 - “Mind Echo Unit”
498. My Disco - “You”
497. Daft Punk - “One More Time”*
496. William Shatner - “Common People”
495. Blake Schwarzenbach - “My First Time”
494. Outkast - “B.O.B.”*
493. thepowersofdarknessshallrainblooduponthiscityfor500years - “I Confess”
492. Pretty Girls Make Graves - “The Getaway”
491. Owls - “Everyone Is My Friend”
490. The Lawrence Arms - “Rambling Boys of Pleasure”
489. N.E.R.D. - “Lapdance”
488. Trans Am - “The Dark Gift”
487. Battles - “Atlas”*
486. Bohren & Der Club of Gore - “Kleiner Finger”
485. Ikara Colt - “City of Glass”
484. Wolf Eyes - “Dead Hills”
483. Monotonix - “Body Language”
482. Sex Vid - “Exorcism”
481. Panda Bear - “Bros”*
480. Virgin Mega Whore - “Bite Your Fucking Cock Off and Other Amusements”
479. 13 + God - “Men of Station”
478. Tim Hecker - “Neither More Nor Less”
477. Grey Daturas - “Owly Claw”
476. Liars - “Pillars Were Hollow…”
475. Basement Jaxx - “Where’s Your Head At?”*
474. Young James Long - “In the Moanin’”
473. Growing - “Pavement Rich in Gold”
472. Maserati - “Synchronicity IV”
471. Jimmy Eat World - “The Middle”*
470. Pinback - “Fortress”
469. Oxes - “Boss Kitty”
468. Thee Silver Mt. Zion - “Sisters! Brothers! Small Boats of Fire Are Falling From the Sky”
467. Teeth of Lions Rule the Divine - “He Who Accepts All That Is Offered”
466. Book of Black Earth - “Let Us Worship the Dead”
465. Smog - “Rock Bottom Riser”*
464. Tiny Vipers - “Shipwreck”
463. Health - “Crimewave”
462. Mare - “Anisette”
461. Desaparecidos - “Greater Omaha”
460. Engine Down - “Cover”
459. Shat - “Tit Fuck”
458. Some Girls - “Death Face”
457. French Toast - “Nobody Knows”
456. The White Stripes - “Fell in Love With a Girl”*
455. Nomeansno - “Bitch’s Brew” [sic on the part of Nomeansno]
454. Stars of the Lid - “Requiem for Dying Mothers (Part 1)”*
453. Everlovely Lightningheart - “Minge and Marrow”
452. M.I.A. - “Paper Planes”*
451. Melvins - “Youth of America”
450. The Knife - “Heartbeats”*
449. Playing Enemy - “The Closer to Caesar”
448. Andrew W.K. - “Party Hard”*
447. Cave In - “Big Riff”
446. Hot Snakes - “Braintrust”
445. Kelly Clarkson - “Breakaway”
444. Isis + Aerogramme - “Low Tide”
443. Magnetic Fields - “I Don’t Believe You”
442. Oxbow - “Sweetheart”
441. Krallice - “Wretched Wisdom”
440. Fennesz - “Black Sea”
439. sBACH - “Track 08”
438. The National - “Mistaken for Strangers”*
437. Against Me! - “Those Anarcho Punks Are Mysterious”
436. Don Caballero - “Fire Back About Your New Baby’s Sex”
435. Limp Wrist - “I Love Hardcore Boys, I Love Boys Hardcore”
434. Akron/Family - “Lumen”
433. Beck - “Black Tamborine”
432. Kiss the Anus of a Black Cat - “Nummer 1”
431. Milemarker - “New Lexicon”
430. Yo La Tengo - “Pass the Hatchet, I Think I’m Goodkind”
429. Goatsnake - “Raw Curtains”
428. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - “Maps”*
427. Bobby Bare Jr. - “Valentine”
426. Make Believe - “Political Mysticism”
425. Pig Destroyer - “Pretty in Casts”
424. Barbaro - “Feeding”
423. Trina - “Pull Over”
422. 1349 - “I Am Abomination”
421. Bob Dylan - “Mississippi”*
420. Neurosis - “Stones From the Sky”
419. Dixie Chicks - “Travelin’ Soldier”
418. Tragedy - “The Ending Fight”
417. Big Business - “Just as the Day Was Dawning”
416. The Darkness - “I Believe in a Thing Called Love”*
415. Blink-182 - “I Miss You”
414. Zeke - “Arkansas Man”
413. Xasthur - “Prison of Mirrors”
412. Wolves in the Throne Room - “Queen of Borrowed Light”
411. Coliseum - “Defeater”
410. Eluvium - “Time Travel of the Sloth Pt. I II and III”
409. Doomriders - “Black Thunder”
408. Clouds - “Empires in Basements”
407. Skeleton Key - “Panic Bullets”
406. Old Man Gloom - “Zozobra”
405. Jim O’Rourke - “Memory Lame”
404. Decibully - “Megan and Magill”
403. Breather Resist - “Loose Lipped Error”
402. Caribou - “Pelican Narrows”
401. Greymachine - “Sweatshop”
400. Tropics - “Future Gets Tense”
399. Victim’s Family - “Moron on Steroids”
398. Om - “Pilgrimage”
397. Carissa’s Wierd - “The Color That Your Eyes Changed With the Color of Your Hair”
396. Future of the Left - “Fingers Become Thumbs”
395. The Locust - “Live From the Russian Compound”
394. Jerk With a Bomb - “This Broken Heart”
393. The Flaming Stars - “You Don’t Always Want What You Get”
392. American Steel - “Day to Night (Like a Hint)”
391. Headphones - “Gas and Matches”
390. Red Sparowes - “Alone and Unaware, the Landscape Was Transformed in Front of Our Eyes”
389. High on Fire - “Speedwolf”
387. The Evens - “Around the Corner”
386. The Weight - “Three Sixteen”
385. M.I.A.- “Galang”*
384. Mates of State - “Fraud in the ‘80s”
383. Animal Collective - “Who Could Win a Rabbit”
382. Jesu - “Friends Are Evil”
381. St. Vincent - “Now Now”
380. Two Gallants - “Train That Stole My Man”
379. Silver Jews - “K-Hole”
378. Minus the Bear - “Memphis & 53rd (Fog Remix)”
377. Saves the Day - “At Your Funeral”
376. Fucked Up - “Crooked Head”
375. Ted Leo and the Pharmacists - “Bleeding Powers”
374. M.I.A. - “Bucky Done Gun”*
373. Darker My Love - “Blue Day”
372. Bright Eyes - “Something Vague”
371. Cursive - “Gentleman Caller”
370. Basement Jaxx (featuring Dizzee Rascal) - “Lucky Star”
369. Pedro the Lion - “Bands With Managers”
368. The Weakerthans - “Left and Leaving”
367. The White Stripes- “Seven Nation Army”*
366. Akimbo - “Delilah”
365. The Hold Steady - “Ask Her for Adderall”
364. Khanate - “Skin Coat”
363. Loose Fur - “Laminated Cat”
362. River City Tanlines - “Lookin’ for a Line”
361. Nomo - “Brainwave”
360. Melvins - “Blood Witch”
359. Sun Kil Moon - “Carry Me Ohio”*
358. Propagandhi - “Today’s Empires, Tomorrow’s Ashes”
357. The Promise Ring - “Stop Playing Guitar”
356. All The Saints - “Regal Regalia”
355. Joanna Newsom - “Sprout and the Bean”*
354. The Coathangers - “Dreamboat”
353. John Vanderslice - “Underneath the Leaves”
352. Dead Low Tide - “Ill Eagle”
351. Witch - “Seer”
350. Earth - “Coda Maestoso in F (Flat) Minor”*
349. Jesse Sykes and the Sweet Hereafter - “Reckless Burning”
348. The New Year - “Seven Days and Seven Nights”
347. The Elephants - “Humans Extinct”
346. Destiny’s Child - “Jumpin’ Jumpin’”*
345. Isis - “Weight”
344. Gun Outfit - “The Valley”
343. Constantines - “Soon Enough”
342. Delorean - “Shibuya Crossing”
341. Fuck Buttons - “Sweet Love for Planet Earth”*
340. Pelican - “Drought”
339. Gorgoroth - “Procreating Satan”
338. Tom Waits - “Starving in the Belly of the Whale”
337. Mclusky- “To Hell With Good Intentions”*
336. Band of Horses - “The Funeral”*
335. Halo - “Buried in Light”
334. Converge - “You Fail Me”
333. Okkervil River - “Okkervil River Song”
332. Rotten Sound - “The Effects”
331. The Secret Machines - “Last Believer, Drop Dead”
330. Darryl Worley - “Have You Forgotten?”
329. Stars of the Lid - “December Hunting For Vegetarian Fuckface”
328. Leviathan - “My War”
327. Old Canes - “Blue Eleanor”
326. Ben Gibbard - “You Remind Me of Home”
325. Coldplay - “Everything’s Not Lost”
324. Drive by Truckers - “The Day John Henry Died”
323. Deerhoof - “Milk Man”*
322. Trap Them - “Fucking Viva”
321. The Explosion - “God Bless the S.O.S.”
320. Wolf Eyes - “Stabbed tn the Face”
319. Lil’ Kim (featuring Sisqo) - “How Many Licks?”
318. Wilco - “Jesus, Etc.”*
317. Trans Am - “First Words”
316. Dixie Chicks - “Landslide”
315. The Austerity Program - “The River”
314. SunnO))) & Boris - “The Sinking Belle (Blue Sheep)”
313. Langhorne Slim - “Restless”
312. Text - “Requiem of Ernst-Hugo (1928-1998)”
311. Neurosis - “Bridges”
310. The Night Marchers - “Jump in the Fire”
309. The Thermals - “When I Died”
308. Torche - “Warship”
307. Trans Am - “Afternight”
306. Handsome Furs - “Handsome Furs Hate This City”
305. William Elliott Whitmore - “When Push Comes to Love”
304. Radiohead- “Everything in Its Right Place”*
303. Constantines - “Young Lions”
302. Wolf Parade - “You Are a Runner and I Am My Father’s Son”
301. Guided by Voices - “Glad Girls”
300. Sweet Cobra - “Bottom Feeder”
299. Harvey Milk - “Motown”
298. Hot Water Music - “Trusty Chords”
297. Against Me! - “Joy”
296. Eluvium - “Radio Ballet”
295. Johnny Cash - “The Man Comes Around”*
294. Radiohead - “Pyramid Song”*
293. Interpol - “Next Exit”
292. Jets to Brazil - “All Things Good and Nice”
291. Helms Alee - “A Wierding Away”
290. John Murphy - “Sunshine (Adagio in D Minor)”
289. Boris - “Ibitsu”*
288. Grinderman - “Honey Bee”
287. Dälek - “Subversive Script”
286. Communique - “Evaporate”
285. Zozobra - “The Blessing”
284. Nick Cave and Warren Ellis - “Rather Lovely Thing”
283. John Prine - “That’s How Every Empire Falls”
282. Black Mountain - “Wucan”
281. Boris with Michio Kurihara - “My Rain”
280. The Velvet Teen - “GyzmKid”
279. Cloud Cult - “Mr. Tambourine Man”
278. The Mars Volta - “Roulette Dares (The Haunt Of)”
277. This Will Destroy You - “Villa Del Refugio”
276. Harkonen - “In Tow”
275. Jay Farrar - “Feed Kill Chain”
274. Craft - “Fuck the Universe”
273. TV on the Radio - “Shout Me Out”
272. Beck - “Lost Cause”*
271. My Morning Jacket - “The Way That He Sings”
270. The Thermals - “A Pillar of Salt”*
269. Lost Sounds - “Energy Drinks and the Long Walk Home”
268. Zombi - “Orion”
267. Blink-182 - “Everytime I Look for You”
266. Angels of Light - “Evangeline”
265. Pleasure Forever - “Any Port in a Storm”
264. Lvmen - “No. 7”
263. Jeff Magnum - “I Will Bury You in Time”
262. Thrones - “Obolus”
261. Blood Brothers - “Ambulance Vs. Ambulance”
260. Sunn O))) - “It Took the Night to Believe”*
259. Jets to Brazil - “Further North”
258. The New Pornographers - “The Laws Have Changed”*
257. Pissed Jeans - “Don’t Need Smoke to Make Myself Disappear”
256. My Morning Jacket - “Off the Record”*
255. Mastodon - “Blood and Thunder”*
254. Fang Island - “Sideswiper”
253. Slayer - “Disciple”
252. Wilco - “Poor Places”*
251. Minus the Bear - “Absinthe Party at the Fly Honey Warehouse”
250. Pedro the Lion - “Priests and Paramedics”
249. Destiny’s Child - “Say My Name”*
248. Canon Canyon - “Unwanted Heroic News”
247. Ratatat - “17 Years”*
246. Minus the Bear - “The Fix”
245. Cat Power - “Good Woman”
244. Fugazi - “Cashout”*
243. Wata - “Angel”
242. MGMT- “Time to Pretend”*
241. Mogwai - “Acid Food”
240. Isis - “Glisten”
239. Sigur Rós - “Svefn-G-Englar”*
238. Why? - “Yo Yo Bye Bye”
237. Beirut - “Forks and Knives (La Fete)”
236. Modest Mouse - “Float On”*
235. Part Chimp - “30,000,000,000 People”
234. Boise Cover Band - “Strange”
233. American Nightmare - “There’s a Black Hole in the Shadow of the Pru”
232. Knut - “H/Armless”
231. The Weakerthans - “One Great City!”
230. Against Me! - “Sink, Florida, Sink”
229. The Mountain Goats - “Best Ever Death Metal Band in Denton”*
228. Converge - “Concubine”
227. SunnO))) & Boris - “Etna”
226. Young Widows - “Took a Turn”
225. Radiohead - “Idioteque”*
224. Belle and Sebastian - “Women’s Realm”
223. Pelican - “Dead Between The Walls”
222. Grinderman - “No Pussy Blues”*
221. Miighty Flashlight - “Ballet Skool”
220. William Elliott Whitmore - “Burn My Body”
219. Señor Coconut y Su Conjunto - “Showroom Dummies”
218. Panda Bear - “Comfy in Nautica”*
217. Khlyst - “I”
216. Mastodon - “March of the Fire Ants”
215. Enon - “In This City”
214. George Rrurrambu - “Ronu Wanga”
213. Antony and the Johnsons - “Hope There’s Someone”*
212. Crooked Fingers - “Surrender Is Reason”
211. Joanna Newsom - “Peach, Plum, Pear”*
210. Neko Case - “Hold On, Hold On”*
209. Spiritualized - “The Straight and the Narrow”
208. Belle and Sebastian - “Jonathan David”
207. Constantines - “Night Time (Anytime It’s All Right)”*
206. Murder City Devils - “Press Gang”
205. Daughters - “Daughters Spelled Wrong”
204. Harkonen - “The Burly Spur”
203. Akron/Family - “Raise The Sparks”
202. The Hold Steady - “Southtown Girls”
201. John Prine - “Clay Pigeons”
200. Bonnie “Prince” Billy - “The Way”
199. Sigur Rós - “Vaka (Untitled 1)”*
198. Khanate - “Commuted”
197. Boris - “Pink”
196. McLusky - “Icarus Smicarus”
195. Marked Men - “Fix My Brain”
194. Wilco - “Hell Is Chrome”
193. Sun Kil Moon - “Glenn Tipton”
192. Dillinger Four - “Let Them Eat Thomas Payne”
191. Torche - “Charge of the Brown Recluse”
190. Silver Jews - “Tennessee”
189. Brian McBride - “Overture (For Other Halfs)”
188. Jay Farrar - “Hanging On To You”
187. Enon - “Conjugate the Verbs”
186. Black Mountain - “Bright Lights”
185. Angels of Light - “All Souls’ Rising”
184. Young Widows - “Swamped and Agitated”
183. The Hold Steady- “Stuck Between Stations”*
182. Neko Case & Her Boyfriends - “Thrice All American”
181. Shellac - “Prayer to God”*
180. Jesu - “Silver”*
179. Fugazi - “Furniture”
178. Earth - “A Plague of Angels”
177. Constantines - “Draw Us Lines”
176. Godspeed You! Black Emperor - “Storm” [First Movement]*
175. Wilco - “Ashes of American Flags”
174. Stars of the Lid - “Dungtitled (In A Major)”
173. John Prine - “Long Monday”
172 - 1. These spots are reserved, in no particular order, for the 49 These Arms Are Snakes songs, 46 Roy songs, 18 Kill Sadie songs, 16 Onalaska songs, 13 Russian Circles songs, 11 Narrows songs, 7 Botch songs, 6 Mouth of the Architect songs, and 6 Mamiffer songs that were released in this decade.

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Speaking of Russian Circles, don’t miss the exclusive track-by-track breakdown they gave us of their upcoming Geneva (October 20, Suicide Squeeze).